I want my money back!

Well, have you heard that the fabulous (and no doubt expensive) custom made Bears helmets that were intended for the lions in front of the Art Institute are too small?? How funny is that? The really funny thing is that they paid all these people to come out and measure the lions heads and then a team of artists and engineers worked on these stupid things for weeks. Finally they went to put them on the lions and they didn't fit. After attempting to blame it on the cold (it caused the helmets to shrink!) they finally admitted that they were just too small.

This just cracks me up. The last time the Bears went to the Super Bowl in 1985, the lions sported similar helmets. Do you know how those helmets were made? They were made out of the bottom of a big Weber grill. Yep, no special calipers were required to measure the lions heads. No engineers to make sure they were the right shape. No special art teams to get the logo just right. It was someone ordinary...like a janitor or something. And they were made in his garage. He was probably sucking on a six-pack at the time. ( I mean, how else would you come up with the idea to put a helmet on a statue of a lion? You'd have to be drunk. That's also my theory on how someone came up with the Teletubbies.) And, wonder of wonders...the stupid Weber Grill helmets fit.

My question is...why didn't they just do that this time? It worked last time, right? I bet it would have been cheaper too...just the price of 2 grills and a six-pack of beer. Voila! But, no. The Art Institute had to go and get all fancy and have some team of experts do it. Now, I am a member of the AI. How much of my membership money went towards the making of not one, but now TWO sets of over sized helmets? By the time they get the fit correct, it will be baseball season. I thought my membership money went towards the protection and procurement of great pieces of art...not lion accessories. I'm a little pissed off. I think the AI owes me, and the next time I go I am going to touch a Monet. I've always wanted to and now I feel I have the right to do so. When they escort me out I'll be screaming, "Oh yeah? Well, how about those helmets, you genius's! How many artists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 20! One to take the price of the light bulb out of my membership cost and 19 to make sure it's the wrong size for the socket!"