Product Placement

Well, I went to my Bible study this morning and it was cancelled. Well, not exactly cancelled...we have one more week of Christmas vacation until we start meeting again. For those of you who have read the other posts on this blog, the idea of ME going to Bible study may sound incongruous to my very nature, but I do take it very seriously. Besides, just think how crappy I'd be if I weren't in Bible study. Anyway, this study is very hard-core. There are a lot of rules and I just chafe every time they come up with a new one. We aren't allowed to talk about books or movies or concerts because not everyone has had the same experiences so it's not fair to use pop culture as a frame of reference. We aren't allowed to respond to each other in discussion and we need to limit our answers to what we have written on our study sheets. We aren't allowed to wear perfume because some people are sensitive to smells. We aren't allowed to have drinks (I think they mean coffee or pop, but let me tell you, the more time I spend in this study the more I want a vodka tonic) in our discussion groups. Blah, blah, blah. I hate rules.

Anyway, so my study was cancelled and so I was all dressed and made up and perfumed (I told you I hate rules) and had no where to go. So, I went to the bookstore to have a Starbucks. I called my coffee bud and asked her if she could meet me and she said she would be there in a half hour. (That just goes to show you that stay-at-home moms have nothing better to do than meet their friends for coffee, which is what people who aren't stay-at-home moms think we do anyway. Yup, we just lounge around and meet for coffee because we are too stupid to get "real' jobs.) So I had a half hour to kill in Barnes and Noble. Yippee!! I got my Starbucks and headed over to the comfortable chairs we always like to sit in. I sat down and started to look at the books in the section that was facing my chair. That section was "Self Help". Because I have a very healthy self-esteem, I don't spend a lot of time in that section so it was very interesting to me. (My self esteem is so healthy, as a matter of fact, that in college a dear friend of mine accused me of suffering from a "superiority complex". That still cracks me up...but not because it isn't true.) Anyway, those self-help books have the damnedest titles. The Easy Way To Stop Drinking for example. I am going to buy it for every alcoholic I know because apparently all they need to do is read this book and they will be un-addicted. Judging from the title, it will be EASY.
My favorite self-help books were those yellow and black ones that look like Cliff notes, only bigger. All the titles of these books end with the same 2 words..."for Dummies". I know you've seen these books. There are a million of them...Soduku for Dummies, Wine for Dummies, Microsoft Word for Dummies. I've always been really surprised that people actually bought these books. I would never buy a book that even implied that I was a dummy, let alone came right out and called me one. (That reminds me of a story. When I was a freshman in college I took economics. I don't know how the rest of you feel about econ, but I hated it and didn't understand it. Furthermore, I couldn't understand why anyone would want to understand it, let alone come to enjoy it. So, needless to say I wasn't doing very well in that class. Luckily, my boyfriend was getting his Masters in Business and so I asked him to help me. So, the poor guy is trying to explain some really pedestrian economic subject to me and I am staring at him blankly, probably thinking about shoes or something. So, he gets done with his explanation and I said, "I don't get it." So, he tries again and still I don't get it. So, he dumbs it down and I still don't get it at which point he calls me stupid. He was really frustrated, but he didn't know I wasn't even paying attention. I was thinking about shoes! Later on in our relationship he told me he could never marry me because I would go out and charge heedlessly and then hide all the bills under the bed. Wonder why he got that idea?)
Back to the books. So, here are a bunch of books with titles like, Anger Management for Dummies and Eating Disorders for Dummies.
Do I even need to explain why:
A. I found this very funny.
B. I couldn't believe that the publishers thought it would be a good idea to come right out and call someone with anger issues a "dummy".
C. I wondered if people actually bought these books.

I almost bought the one called Anger Management for Dummies just so I could carry it around everywhere with me with the title out in plain sight just to see the looks I'd get. I'd even bring it to my Bible study and hold it while I asked why we have to have all those stupid rules!