Pass me the Sharpie, baby.

You know what? This Bible study I am in is pretty much poised to kick me out, I think. Therefore, I do not feel bad about breaking yet another of their many rules. The rule I am going to break is the one that tells me I am not supposed to talk about the contents of the study guide and I am not to divulge what the questions for group discussion are. Honestly! It's like being in "Fight Club". ("The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is, you DO NOT talk about fight club. Apparently, none of the rules of fight club were you have to be as hot as Brad Pitt to be in fight club...or else it would have been a one member club. He was so incredible looking in that movie that he wasn't even a real person. If you have questions about this analogy then you obviously haven't seen the movie. Go rent it. Brad Pitt never looked finer. Unfortunately, I think Angelina is bringing him down. He doesn't look as good as he did with Jennifer. Too much traveling, I'd guess. They need to start adopting locally.)
Anyway. As I was saying, members of my Bible Study aren't supposed to talk about what we talk about within the walls of the church. I don't really get that, but I have been fairly respectful of that rule so far just because I have been learning so much and I am generally not a huge rule breaker. For example, I am the "secretary" of our 15 woman discussion group. All I have to do is take 2 attendance sheets with every one's names on it and make a check-mark in the little box under the meeting date if they are there. Pretty easy stuff, right? Not for this group. I swear to you I am telling the truth when they held a special little meeting for all of us "secretaries" to make sure we knew what we were doing. We were told always to use the pencil provided with the sheets. We were told to lay one of the sheets outside the door to our room with the pencil on top of it so the sheet could be picked up by the "head honcho secretary". Then we were told that if someone came in late we needed to go outside, get the sheet and mark them present. Under no circumstances was the late-comer to mark herself present because (and I shit you not) she might do it wrong! Then they told us how to make the check marks!! No kidding. They are not to go outside of the box. Check marks only, no "X". At the end of all this ridiculousness, they asked if there were any questions. Get this---5 women raised their hands. Honest to God, they had questions. I started to laugh and left the room.
So, let me tell you about the question in my discussion guide that is going to get me kicked out of Bible study. We are talking about the book of Romans and how Paul was telling the Roman churches that the only way to eternal life at the right hand of God is through your faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. No matter how much you followed the laws (like sacrifices and circumcision, etc.), following the laws alone was not going to get you to heaven. Only faith in Jesus would. So then we surmised that this was targeted towards the Jews who were the sons of Abraham, i.e. the "chosen" ones. OK, so one of the questions in my study guide was something about the promises God made to the Jews in the Old Testament...but since the Jews as a whole rejected Jesus Christ did that mean that God's promises to Israel failed? So far, so good. I have no beef with that because the main point was that God did give Israel the Law and chose them to be the receivers of many advantages. But, God also gave them (and everyone else who believed) Jesus.
Right. I'm okay up to now, but the next question on my discussion sheet caused me to gasp audibly and start shaking with anger. Here is the question, word for word:

What is your attitude toward Jews, and how could you help more of them to become believers?

Wait a minute!! What is my attitude towards Jews? Are you talking to me, or to a drunk Mel Gibson? Who am I to have an attitude toward anyone? Did we not cover the material in Romans a few weeks ago that said that God is the only one with the right to judge anyone?? I was so pissed off! Then, the idiot women in my group started answering it. SERIOUSLY!! ("Well, I don't know any Jews myself, but I wish I did." "I have a Jewish sister-in-law and it just pains me when I see her." "If I knew any Jews, I would love to ask them what they DO believe in so I could introduce them to the truth of Christ.") I just sat there with my mouth gaping open and finally I said something like, "What the hell kind of question is this? What does this mean...my attitude towards Jews? Are we supposed to have an "attitude" towards people?"
All these women started looking at me like I was a leper. Not just a leper, but one with Tourette's who was saying, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..." over and over. If I had said that I think I would have gotten the same reaction. They TOTALLY turned on me and told me it was my duty to preach to Jews. It was my calling! I was turning my back on God's word! Yadda, yadda, yadda.
I just sat there silent the rest of the time, glaring at everyone. They just pity me, which makes me even madder because they are too stupid to see why that question was offensive! I don't want to be pitied by stupid people!!
In any case, next week I am going to put "X"s on the attendance sheets. In pen. It's just a matter of time before they kick me out.