Here is what my digital camera looks like:
Isn't it pretty? Apparently you can take pictures with it too! However, I wouldn't know because it's in some hermetically sealed packaging from Costco and I may never get the stupid thing out. That's the downside of buying things from Costco; unfriendly packaging. We bought Bronte an IPod Nano there for Christmas and I think it took until dinner to get the thing out of the clamshell. (Yes, I know...Bronte was only 6 years old at Christmas and why in the world does a 6 year old need an IPod, blah, blah, blah. Shut up. I'll buy my 6 year old an IPod if I want to. Besides, if you know Bronte then you understand why buying her an IPod makes perfect sense. She is WAAAAYYY more savvy than your average 7 year old.)
Anyway, my new digital camera was a Mother's Day gift. Tony actually got me one from Target but when Brenna opened it and started to mess around with it so she could teach me how to use it, she discovered that it was USED! "How?" you may ask and I will tell you. It had some else's pictures in it! There were sexy photos of some ugly fat woman on a bed with a cat. And the cat was in the foreground. Yep. Pussy pictures. Then there was a couple of pictures of her tattooed boyfriend holding the cat. They must love their fucking cat, that's all I can say. So, I took the sullied camera back to Target because I wanted a BRAND NEW camera. (Now, if the people who had the camera before me were beautiful dog-people instead of ugly cat-people, I might have kept it. But, I couldn't keep it after I saw who had previously touched it. I have standards.) Needless to say, Target didn't have another one. So, I looked at all the digital cameras in the Target camera case and asked about another one that was similarly priced. Well, Alex, the pimply high school Target camera specialist, was sorry to tell me that they didn't have any of those particular cameras either. So, I thought, "Well, I'll get one that's a little more expensive because gas is $4 a gallon and I don't want to drive around to a bunch of other Targets looking for this dumb camera." So I asked Alex if they had the $159 Polaroid digital camera. Regrettably, no. Not in stock. How about the Fuji $159 camera? Sorry, out of stock. So, then I looked at Alex and asked, "Does the Target camera department actually SELL cameras or just display them?" The humor was lost on Alex and I wasn't amused either, so needless to say I left Target empty-handed and took my business to Costco. 
First of all, let me just tell you that I fucking LOVE Costco. I especially love Costco on the weekend because it's sample day. I could walk into Costco on a Sunday afternoon starving to death and leave 30 minutes later so full that I am nauseated. If you know one thing about me, it's that I have a terrible relationship with food and I feel guilty every time I eat something...unless it's FREE. I love FREE food. So, yesterday I tried sun-dried tomato sausages and beef taquitos and salmon patties and cheesecake. The only thing I didn't try was the Australian black licorice. It's not that I have anything against Australians, although I must admit that I didn't know they were specialists in black licorice, I just hate black licorice. However, because it was FREE food, I almost ate it. I did take a piece just because it was FREE, but I made my mother-in-law (with whom I was shopping) eat it, even though she has braces and said she wasn't supposed to have licorice. I told her she had to eat it because if she didn't then I would and then I would throw up in her lovely clean car on the way home because black licorice makes me sick and I wasn't going to pass up FREE food so she was obligated to eat it. I'm sure she didn't follow my logic, but she ate it anyway...probably just to get me to shut up.
Anyway, so after spending a good 30 minutes standing in front of the Costco camera display, my mother-in-law and I decided on a Casio camera with 10 mega-pixels and a rechargeable battery and some fancy movie thing...shit, I don't know. I don't even know what a mega-pixel is, although the camera guy at Costco tried to explain it to me 10 times. I just picked that one because it was the same price as the one at Target and my mother-in-law seemed to think it was the best deal. So, we take the slip of paper from the Costco camera guy so that we can pay for it up front and then, after we pay for it, they can go get it out of the lock up area. I think that's stupid. They lock up the digital cameras and the cigarettes at Costco. They have packages of meat that cost more than some of those digital cameras, but they don't lock up the pork chops. Whatever. In any case, needless to say, I wait in line for 20 minutes, pay for the camera, wait in line in front of the cage where they keep the cameras and smokes, then wait for the Costco employee to get my hermetically sealed camera only to have him come back empty handed and tell me that the only one they have is the display camera so he has to go get it. I said, "Why didn't they tell me that when I was looking at it?" He said, "Well, they don't know what we have in stock unless they call us and ask." I pointed out to him that this system SUCKED and that I didn't want some stupid display camera that other people, probably even ugly cat-people, had touched. So, guess what? I had to stand in line to get my money back for my imaginary camera. AAHHHH!!
Well, this morning I went to a different Costco. I was all ready to buy the same camera I had attempted to purchase the day before (which I knew they had in stock because I made the idiots at the other Costco check on it for me) when the helpful Costco camera person suggested that I might like the camera that was $10 more. I said, "But it has 8.1 mega pixels as opposed to the 10 mega pixels in the one I chose. So what's the advantage to the more expensive one?" You know what she said? She said (and I shit you not, my friends), "Well, this one comes in different colors. AND, it comes with a carrying case." That was a good enough reason for me!! So I got the green one. Turns out that, in addition to being $10 more expensive for no good reason, it also takes FEWER pictures on a single battery charge than the cheaper one does!! However, it is green, not silver. I could have gotten a blue one instead, but I decided on green. The cheaper, more pixeled and more pictures per battery charge camera only came in ONE stupid color. Silver. Blech.
I think I made the right choice.
10 comments:
Ahaha! I love it! Don't feel bad.. it took me several years to finally get a digital camera(and I can't live without it now). I had to research and decide on exactly what I wanted. and! When I finally did(and we dropped a good $350 at tax return time) the fucking thing stopped working after a year. I got lucky and won our second one(at work) right around the same time though.
We're actually on camera #3 since 2004. They're incredibly touchy. Not like those hard core 35mm's that you can throw in the ocean, drop down 500 flights of stairs and drop out of a moving car(this really happened to me.. well.. the stairs and the car at least... like I'd throw my camera in the ocean..dur!) and STILL keeps working.
No. The digi's are sensitive, I've found out. But you should have a lot of fun with it! Just carry the manual with you wherever you take it for awhile. My mom still can't work hers right and she's had it 2.5 years ;).
I am not a silly cat person, I am an attractive dog person. But even so, I purposefully chose to get a silver camera because I figured it would look like something I was supposed to keep track of. If it was a kicky color, I just knew I'd loose it.
Well, where the hell is all the new photos? It's been over an hour since you posted!
Emzie will think you are the coolest ever with your green camera! Now you just have to use it to take your own pics of your SS class!
What kind of idiot takes pictures and the returns the camera without erasing them? And, I must say you are lucky that the pussy pics were of a live cat...otherwise you'd not only be returning the camera, but also spending a lot of money on some psyco analysis for poor Brenna who was trying to help you get into the digital age.
--Kitten
PS. Love Costco! Especially when all the little ladies are there passing out the goodies.
Hahaha. This made me laugh out loud. Between my giggling and the loud music, the girls wondered what I was doing on the computer. So, I read them some bits and pieces and we agreed that it was a trademark Carolyn life episode. What, they didn't have the camera in orange? Geez.
I want pictures! Where are the pictures!
Every day is sample day. I go to Costco every 2 weeks, and it's
1 and 1/2 hrs away, but it has really cheap gas!
You are such a great storyteller - I swear nobody can make buying a camera as funny as you do. I absolutely despise packaging. I still don't own a digital camera, but I do love my camera on my phone, though I have no idea how to print them out once I take them. I just like knowing they're there.
he he
well dont worry, you dont need 10 megapixels unless you will be blowing those pictures up to 10 feet by 15 feet. A 5.0 pixel camera still takes pictures big enough to blow up enormous.
One warning. Dont try to email any 8.0 megapixel pictures to anyone, it will take them forever to download etc. You may have to resize (down to about 640x400) in order to actually email a picture.)
I have owned digitals since they came in 1.0 pixel, ha ha so if you have any questions, let me know.
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