I'm on Al Gore's Payroll

I saw this on another blog and since I am a sucker for any quiz-type thing that's all about ME (just ask Jim), I had to do it.

1. Your Rock Star name (first pet, current vehicle):
Duchess Durango (that worked out fairly well...I am a sucker for alliteration.)

2. Your 'gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite shoe):
Now, if you know me then you KNOW that the first word that comes to mind when you think of me is 'gangsta. I'm the first one to threaten to pop a cap in your ass...I like hangin' with my bitches...you know; the regular 'gansta stuff. This name just proves that I was born to be a part of the 'gangsta life: Jamoca Almond Fudge Doc
Shit! I sound dangerous. I think it's the word Jamoca.

3. Your Native American name(favorite color, favorite animal):
Orange Cougar
I must admit...I don't really have a favorite animal. But, a cougar was just shot in Chicago a couple of weeks ago. Apparently it was just wandering around the city and the cops cornered it and shot it to death. OK...so here's what I think. First of all, I don't know where the cougar came from, but it was alone and confused. Second of all, we (the people) are taking away all the natural habitats these animals have. We are building McMansions everywhere and stupid strip malls full of the same stores that are 10 miles down the road in an identical strip mall. If cougars are wandering around the streets like drunken homeless people, it is our own fault. Third of all, this cougar didn't just appear out of nowhere. There had been sightings for days. Why weren't the police ready with a tranquilizer gun or something? Why did they have to kill it? WHERE'S FUCKING PETA??? They should be outraged! All I know is, if they could prove that this animal was unarmed and confused and African American, then Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson would be all over the news talking about the corrupt white cops out to get the minority in Chicago.

4. Your Soap Opera name(middle name, city where you were born):
Jean Moline.
Okay, that's hilarious (mostly because it's the truth). Say it out loud. It rhymes. How funny is that? If that were my stage name then I would fully deserve to only be on soap operas FOREVER. Who could take "Jean Moline"seriously? I would emote and emote for years and never win a Daytime Emmy because of my name.

5. Your Star Wars name(first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first):
(Princess) Phica
The Princess part is implied. I'm telling you, if I had to put on all that stupid makeup and have some stupid looking hairstyle to be in a movie with a cast of billions, then I better be a freakin' Princess. Plus my name would be pronounced FI-CA. Ick. Like the plant.
Gedca
That's if I go with my maiden name. I think in that case I would want to be Emperor Gedca. And I'd want to be a bad guy. That'd be way funner.

6. Superhero name(second favorite color, favorite drink):
Green Coffee
Sounds like an environmental superhero. I'd be chasing down Juan Valdez to make sure he wasn't using pesticides on his coffee plants. Not quite as bad-ass as I would have liked. Jim's superhero is way, way better. Take a look.

7. NASCAR name(first names of your grandfathers):
Arthur Robert

8. Stripper name(the name of your favorite perfume, cologne/scent, favorite candy):
Prada Kit Kat

9. TV Weather Anchor name(Your 5Th grade teachers' last name, a city that starts with the same letter):
Szech Sacramento
(It's pronounced like BEACH with an S) I think that name sounds bitchy.

10. Spy name(your favorite season/holiday, and your favorite flower):
Halloween Tulip
with a name like that, you would have to assume that I was a pretty shitty spy. Seriously.

11. Cartoon name(favorite fruit, article of clothing you're wearing right now):
Kiwi Bra
It'd be funnier if coconut was a fruit...and it was my favorite. Here's another one (I like lots of fruits.)
Pineapple Hoodie
That one is totally 'gansta.
12. Hippie name(what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree):
Coffee Christmas
Oh yes, I can smell the cannabis now. It's the summer of love.

13. "Adult film" star name(first pet, first street that you lived on):
Didn't we already use the name of my first pet? I am going to move on to my second pet. In that same spirit, I am going to use the name of the second street that I lived on (because I don't know the name of the first.)
ToTo Park Boulevard