This is the whole group, except my friend's husband. Obviously, he was taking the picture. I would like to point out to Jim that my husband is not wearing anything tie-dyed but that the tie-dye culture is represented as Crystal and her daughter Emily are both wearing it. So, just in case you don't know who everyone is, from left to right: me, Brenna, Bronte, Sarah (my friend's older daughter), Crystal (my friend), Emily (Crystal's younger daughter) and in the back is my dear Tony. I don't know what the hell he is doing with his hands but since there was no beer to be had at the fair at least we know he wasn't being drunk and stupid.
Now, here is a sign you don't see on every dumpster...
Bronte wanted to touch every single animal she saw. Brenna didn't want to touch ANY animal she saw. I think Brenna walked around with her mini hand sanitizer bottle in her hands. We kept trying to get her to touch something just so we could get a photo of her touching anything besides the Purell. I'm not sure if she ever did touch an animal and I am NOT going to go back and look at all 478 of the fucking pictures to be sure.
Looky! Even I touched a sheep. All I can think of when I look at this photo is, "Wow. I really need a new bra."
Brenna felt completely vindicated when she saw this sign. Ironically, it was posted in the bunny exhibition, which are probably the only animal she would have considered touching. Bronte touched all the bunnies anyway. She didn't give a shit what the sign said.
Ah...the farm vehicle display. Here are Emily (the driver) and Sarah (the poser) checking out the...well, I don't know what they are called...the big red thingy with the scooper. Aren't they cute?
Here is how my kids posed for their photo op. It's just no fun unless someone pretends to be road-kill. Aren't they precious?
Yippeee! We found the John Deere equipment!
Here is the only picture of Glenn, Crystal's husband. He is the most conspicuous consumer I ever met. He must be a joy to shop with...the most fabulous impulse buyer ever. No matter what the display was, by the time we walked up to it he was convinced he needed to buy one. At the boat display he talked about how much he wanted a boat. ATVs? Yep, he wanted one of those. Hot tubs? Gotta have one of those! Tractor? What do you suppose the gas mileage is on this baby? Look at him checking out the cab of this thing. He's seriously considering it.
Seriously, if the camera was out, our kids were posing. I have never seen 4 girls more thrilled to have their picture taken. I imagine that only Jim has more fun posing than Brenna, Bronte, Sarah and Emily.
Don't they look like the Go-Go's in the Vacation video? (You know the one where they are all water-skiing and singing "Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, got to get away!" Am I dating myself? Who remembers that video?)
Here I am doing my Lindsey Lohan impression and kissing my girlfriend. I was having a great hair day. That almost makes up for the crappy bra I wore.
Yummy! Deep fried fair food! I had an egg roll. (Actually, by the end of the day I had 3 egg rolls. They were only a dollar.) Look at the happy fair lady in the booth behind me. Doesn't she just look happy to see me eat? She's probably drunk. I would be if I had to sell food at a fair.
What's the fair without a corn dog?
Or a foot-long corn dog?
This is my favorite part of the fair; The Demolition Derby. It fulfills all my fantasies about ramming my car into every asshole on the road. Glenn was incredibly impressed by the demo derby and took about 100 pictures of it. I told you, they've never been to a fair before.
Yes, we hit the midway. The kids went on every ride except for the giant drop. Bronte was the only one who wanted to go on it and she wasn't tall enough, which totally pissed her off.
Look at how mad Bronte looks. That's because she isn't winning the race. However, Brenna is a notorious cheater so I am sure she pushed off a little before Bronte and Sarah did.
No, Tony isn't pointing at my horrible bra. He is pointing at my Obama button.
This is one of my favorite pictures of Tony. EVER. He is wearing Sarah's sunglasses and just looks so metrosexual. I don't know what prompted this pose. Maybe he was inspired by all the poses the girls had struck during the day.
Sarah and Bronte were the only brave ones who went on this ride. They are pretending to be scared here, but during the course of the ride I think they were actually scared.
Check out the portrait painted on the backdrop for this ride. What the hell...?
Here is a spinny ride that Emily (wisely) refused to go on. Isn't it cute how her shirt matches the ride? One of the carnies told me how they break down and transport all the rides. Let me tell you, it didn't make me feel very good that the drunk carnies can break down one of these spinny things in about an hour.
Bronte started to get a little pissy because she wanted to go on the Giant Drop but wasn't tall enough, so Glenn decided that the girls just needed to play a carnival game and then everything would be better. Either that or he just wanted to throw away $12. So, he picked the "shoot the target with the water gun and make the spinning pedestal with Scooby Doo on it rise to the top first" game. It was a sure thing because our kids were the only ones playing. The funny part was, the barker who was running the game was the only overtly gay carnie I have ever seen. It was like Carson Kressley was running it.
Happily, Bronte won the $12 Scooby Doo. I have to say, in Glenn's defense, it was money well spent. Bronte loves the pink Scooby and sleeps with it every night.
Look, city girls! Corn!
Bronte put a handful of corn down Emily's shirt. I love the reactions!
Ahh!! The big blow up cow. Only in Wisconsin! I think their state motto is "Come and smell our dairy-air!" (Say it out loud. It's funny.)
One of the highlights of the fair are the pig races. Crystal laughed her ass off. Pigs run really fast.
Did I tell you these kids are posers?
Pigs are cute. Or as Bronte wrote in her first grade journal when the teacher told the kids to write about cute little piggies because they had just watched the movie Charlotte's Web, "I love pigs. Pigs are yummy. Bacon comes from pigs. Yummm..." No sentimentality there.
This is where we went right after the pig races. I think we ate last year's athletes.
This was the most vomit inducing ride at the fair. Emily did not go on it. I don't blame her. Bronte and Sarah could not wait to get on it. Brenna needed convincing.
After the kids were strapped in, the floor drops out and the ride spins and swings back and forth. I wanted to barf just looking at it. I think Bronte and Sarah went on it 5 times.
Scary!
Emily (obviously) wasn't really keen about going on this ride either.
But they all ended up loving it. It was a great day. We ate a bunch of delicious carnival food. We saw the demolition derby. No body puked. All in all, a tremendous success!!
14 comments:
Yippee! I'm the first comment and I was there!
Yes, we have been to the fair before, but never with Glenn, hence his intense interest in all of our reactions and the 400+ pics. However, this was probably the best fair we've ever been to. It was soooo fun. The girls had a blast doing everything with their BFF's (nevermind that they are not the same ages, it doesn't matter to them which is incredibly cool).
The egg rolls were amazing, I visited the booth twice myself ($1-too cool), but I think getting a deal on the funnel cake at the end of the night was my major bonus food wise. It was a GREAT day. Now, what to do with the 400 pics......
My wife was having a great hair day, I certainly wasn't pointing at her bra, and you have to have nothing but love in your heart for a woman who loves the demolition derby. I know I do. The best photo that didn't make the page was one of my wife at the end of the day holding her Obama bumper sticker in front of the deflated blow-up elephant outside the Republican party's booth/tent. It's precious.
Where I grew up there was a state fair about twenty minutes away. My Aunt Toots worked to entrance and for far too many years I was admitted as a “child” (even in my twenties) and my parents were admitted as Seniors (even in their 40’s). You knew you were almost there when you pulled into an giant plowed over corn field that had been covers in hay so you could walk out over the mud without sinking in.
In my youth I also went on EVERY SINGLE RIDE. Sometime in High school I learned that one of my cousins had run away and was living the life of a “carney” and all I could think was “Shit, if she’s working there, they’ll let anyone work there!” And I have never ridden another carney ride since. On a side note, you really must bring the family to Southern California. Six Flags Magic Mountain, Universal Studios, Disney-Fucking-Land ring a bell?
At the fair we always started slow with the craft and 4-H barns. Its a bit odd to see names of people you know on display with their entries at the craft barn and my mom would always tell us of her 4-H experiences as a girl. Wait, you weren’t always a mom?
My favorite food was always the ice cream sandwich at the Darigold Wives stand. And though I may have experimented with curly fries (soaked in grease) and corn dogs (drenched in mustard) I always returned to the Wives.
It has been my pleasure to see Jan & Dean, and Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash at the grandstand show at no additional cost to my child entrance fee. June Carter was far and above the best performer of those I listed. I loved the chuckwagon races!
I have photos of me with cows, bunnies, and yes, farm equipment. One year my mother was in charge of the Tupperware booth in the commercial hall and I had a wristband pass that I used EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Now that I’ve confessed all this, I feel suddenly naked or perhaps I too just need a new bra?
When you go to get your new bra (AND I KNOW YOU WILL) make certain you get measured and fitted, you know those things change over the year. Oh, and take Crystal and show her what a real T-shirt without a tie-dye pattern looks like. Before she passes on that tie-dye gene and permanently scars her children.
Is Tony give us the “O” hands?
That red piece of machinery is called a front loader.
And just for Glenn: http://www.billstractor.com/mah45304.htm
Tractor for $238 a month with $817 down.
Tractor with Front-end Loader $310 a month, $279 down.
I like anything when you add the words “house of” in front of it. I also like the use of the word “Hut”. Does anyone remember when it used to be “Claire’s Accessory Hut” instead of just Claire’s?
Who does'nt love the county fair?
At some point you have to get to the Big Daddy- The Illinois State Fair. Where else can you see a 400lb Cow sculpted out of Butter?
As far as your Obama button; I was on the fence until The old Geezer announced Sarah Palin. It never occured to me that there could be someone worse than Bush, I was wrong.
Carolyn, that was a great hair day! That was fantastic hair! I didn't even notice the bra - issue until you pointed it out cuz your hair was just so f***ing fantastic!
And those girls are great! You all look like you had nothing but a good time!
Yeah, I've done my county fair and carnival stints. They can be a lot of fun.
Oh, and Carolyn and anyone else interested, here's another blog I follow. Today she wrote about her "sports bra of doom." Thought you might enjoy it: http://www.lilithsaintcrow.com/journal/2008/09/the-sports-bra-of-doom/
Carolyn,
Yes, the county fair is great. Hamming it up looks like it was fun.
I think that seeing the fruits of our collective agricultural labors is good for kids. Good for them to see that french fries were indeed cut from potatoes grown in the actual ground.
Coming from farm families (both sides) and growing up on a farm we we're exposed to alot of this stuff daily so didn't really go to the fairs annually.
As a teen I never wanted to see another mowing tractor...
going back to fairs and events reminds me alot of our farm (23 sheep, pony, a steer, 2 geese, dog, various cats) and the fun we had playing in the barn, grounds and working in our 1 acre garden.
For a GREAT time the kids, Jen and I have been going to the Farm Heritage festival for the past 4 years- Located in WAUCONDA ILLINOIS:
Farm Heritage Festival
Check out hundreds of antique tractors, cars, STEAM ENGINES, and other farm machinery as we celebrate Lake County's rural roots. Daily sheep herding demonstrations, live music, a tractor parade plus farm animals, scarecrow making, children’s activities, wagon rides, delicious food court and more!
It is SEPTEMBER 27th at the Lake County forest preserve by Rt. 176 and Fairfield Rd, Just about 20 minutes North of Palatine...
No bright lights, not much noise, They do have cool Olde timey games though, demonstrations, plants,
4H, Shhep herding and shearing, food and trinkets for sale though.
Dirk-
Great pictures! You've inspired to get out and find some farm animals to touch. Ha! Not a chance. I'm with Brenna and will stick with my Purell.
I didn't notice your bra either. But, I know how it is - I need new ones too. Don't you just hate bra shopping??
Jim's comments were hysterical - it's like a blog within a blog!! Aunt Toots?? What the hell kind of name is that!
Thank you Dirk for the info on the Farm Heritage Festival - maybe we'll go, as long as I have my Purell...
Those pig races look like fun.
The egg rolls make me hungry.
The big tractors and stuff, don't do anything for me.
I also had an uncle Ding on the other side of my family. They just don't make names like they used to.
I think I can speak for everyone when I say how amazingly great it is that you have figured out how to place photos on your blog Carolyn. I'm loving it!
Jim-my grandfather's name was Alpha. Alpha Odus(Jr.) When he died, I was pregnant(of course, because I always seem to be) and amidst my sadness and hormonal wackiness, I became determined to name my baby after him. I hadn't, up to that point, because..well..how the fuck do you incorporate the name "Alpha" in with any other more modern name?
My daughter got lucky and wasn't born with a penis, so that scratched the idea of using his name. Instead we named her after my grandmother, Virginia.
I haven't been to a county fair in years, but every year or two we go down to the state fair in Pueblo. It's gotten more pricey over the years for us to do things like that, so we don't go as often as we used to, but the opportunity to buy all of that fried food is worth the cost of admission.
I love the pictures. Those girls are total hams. You wouldn't be interested in trading out your youngest, would you? I have a video game loving 8 year old boy that does all the normal boy stuff if you'd like to trade. Comes complete with smelly socks and shoes and all of the jokes under the sun. I'll even send one of the insurance cards along with him(you'd probably need it).
Oh, and I never noticed how much T resembles that dude. Tom Cruise's cousin..he was on Lost(played Ethan). Last name Mapother. Maybe not. Kind of. A little. I'm always on the look out for celebrity look alikes. I saw Steven Spielberg at Garden of the Gods this past Sunday and one time I saw Katie Holms AND Sean Connery at the zoo.
I'm still sure that Tupac is alive and well here in Colorado Springs.
OK. Hold on a second. You mean I am just finding you??? You have been married to T-Dude for this long and I have been wasting my attention on him???? You might be my dream woman! We love the same books, we love fried shit, and I will drag my family to every county fair in a 50 mile radius just to get out of the house. Plus, the Obama thing. I may have to start cheating on your husband with you.
All the pictures from the fair are great! Love the posing. And love the bra!
So glad we found each other!!
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