Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Unspectacular Facts

Okay, so about a month ago I got "tagged" by my friend The HMC and, although I have been successfully avoiding the ramifications of being tagged for upwards of a month now, I figure it is time to respond to the "tagging".
I don't really know what being tagged is, but apparently I have to do exactly what The HMC did on her blog, only I answer the question asked in my own words. Okay then, here goes...


1. Link the person that tagged you. (I have absolutely no idea what that means. Also, if I did know what it means I would probably have to have Tony do it for me because I barely know what I'm doing as it is.)
2. Mention the rules on your blog. (Here you go. These are the rules. By the way, these are the lamest rules I have ever read. I hate rules. Especially for recreational things. Rules are for not-fun things. Like flying or cooking. Blogging is supposed to be fun and I refuse to be hemmed in by RULES. Seriously. Can you imagine if you had to read a bunch of rules every time you did something fun? Take sex, for example. Granted, I do have some "rules" when it comes to sex, but I don't outline them to Tony before we do the deed. I just say, "I don't think so," whenever he gets dangerously close to breaking one. There are just certain things I don't do... OK, back to the stupid rules.)
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours. (I am just going to comment on the stupidity of the previous rule. How can a "quirk" be unspectacular? Don't the words spectacular and quirk just go hand in hand? Quirks are, by nature, funny little things that a person does. If they weren't funny or interesting they wouldn't be "quirks" they would just be "habits", right? So I am warning you now, I did list 6unspectacular things below, but they aren't quirks. All my quirks are spectacular.)
4. Tag 6 following blogger's by linking them. (That doesn't even make any sense.)
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged. (The only person I would have tagged would have been Jim and Tony already did that because he's passive aggressive.)

Prepare yourself for my unspectacular-ness.


1. I think sleeping naked is weird. It was almost a deal-breaker for Tony because when he asked me to marry him I paused because I didn't think I could spend the rest of my life sleeping with a naked man. Think of some of the positions in which you sleep.


Now imagine how attractive you would look in one of those positions totally naked. Gross. Not sexy. Particularly The Foetus (the last one pictured above). Inevitably, Tony will be asleep in this position completely covered by the blanket...except his ass. Yummy.
I repeat: Sleeping naked is weird.
2. I always think I left the oven on or the straightening iron plugged in or the back door unlocked when I leave the house. I have been known to turn the car around 3 or 4 times to check on some imagined fire hazard or safety violation of some sort.
3. I quit biting my fingernails, except for the thumb nail on my right hand. I bite it every night before I go to bed and I chew on my cuticles too. I just couldn't go cold turkey.
4. I rarely buy lottery tickets, but when I do buy them and I don't win, I am always really, really surprised. I honestly believe that I am going to win the lottery. I also can't believe that Oprah hasn't come to my house and offered me money to fix my kitchen. What the hell? I live in the Chicago area and I am deserving. What is taking her so long? She gives shit away all the time. Where's MY free shit? Granted, I have never written her a letter, been to her show, visited her website or appealed to her or her "people" in any way shape or form in my entire life. I don't even watch her stupid show. I don't even like her. But, she should still redo my kitchen.
5. I am really struggling to come up with unspectacular things at this point. Hmmm...let's see. Here's one! I always have a toothpick in my purse. Well, technically, I rarely have A toothpick in my purse, I usually have quite a few in there. It would be weird to always have a single toothpick in your purse. That would mean that you just carried around the same toothpick all the time and either never used it or used it over and over. That's disgusting.
I like toothpicks. Everyone should carry around toothpicks because almost everyone needs to use one after they eat. My dad used to keep toothpicks in his car ashtray. He also kept a pack of Doublemint gum in there. Therefore his toothpicks were always minty fresh.
6. I always keep the free address labels sent to me by various organizations looking for donations. I have some from PETA and The St. Jude's Children's Hospital and The Wildlife Federation and many others. However, I never use them. I just have them sitting in various places around the house. I should throw them away.

There you go. All my unspectacular things.
I would like to know everyone's unspectacular things, but I don't know how to tag people and I only know 3 people who have blogs and all three already did this. So, when you comment, just tell me one unspectacular thing about yourself. If you can come up with 6, go for it! It's harder than you think. Especially when you have a superiority complex, like I do.

11 comments:

alan said...

First off, I only sleep nude, as does my wife. I can't imagine being confined in pajamas or anything else. When we stay at my sisters house, we do wear something to bed, it is pure torture.
Second. We always leave the house unlocked, mostly because we have never had any keys to the house. Turns out that most of our neighbours don't lock their homes either. We also leave our keys in our cars. This is a small town, you can't get away with anything around here.
I think buying a lottery ticket entitles one to fantasize about what they will do with the winnings up until the drawing, then it becomes just another contribution to the state's parks and rec commision, and if lucky, some education fund.
I don't think Oprah is giving me JACK SHIT. She has a house in Telluride, don't think she comes to Aspen all that much. She does think that the best Ribs in the world come from the Hickory House in Aspen. She is dead wrong. Carsons Ribs in Chicago (her hometown) beats Hickory House by a Mile. If she does come by Aspen, I could use an addition to my house and a new car, my lease is comming up.
I hope that all this unspectacularness doesn't ruin my image.

The T-Dude said...

Hey, I was in Washington D.C. politics for nearly a decade. If there is one thing I know how to do, it's cover my ass!

Anonymous said...

Great comment Tony.

Fist, I love pajamas. I get too cold without them. Plus, it just feels weird without them. Benjamin (8 yrs.) would prefer to just walk around and sleep in his underwear, but I keep telling him "We wear pajamas in this house! You have a drawer full of them - put some on!". Chloe (5 yrs.) has just recently decided she likes pajamas. Hopefully, it sticks. I don't get it. Dave and I both wear pajamas - where did these children come from!

TheHMC said...

My boys are like that too. Always wanting to sleep in their underwear. I'm more on the conservative side in regards to people being "Nakie", even if it's just around our own house. I might curse like a sailor and take nothing in life seriously, but when it comes to how people dress and what I feel is appropriate, I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum.

You had me cracking up, as usual. I love it when you do these things because we get the funny commentary with every single one, and stories that we might not have heard before. Thanks for participating!

I never buy lottery tickets. I go on and on about all of the charities I want to donate to and all of the good I would do with "my lottery winnings" and all of the little kids I'd adopt, but I never, ever buy a ticket.

I haven't bitten my nails for years. And no, I'm not kidding..I'm a complete germophobe-we do not chew nails(or much of anything else, for that matter). I'm not sure how I had this many kids and am still paranoid about germs. You'd laugh your ass off if you saw the state of my house on a regular basis. Not a house a germ freak lives in, definitely not.

I keep the address labels too! I never use them because I don't feel right doing it if I don't send them money in return. And in regards to the PETA ones? Well, I'm carniverous. You can't use PETA labels if you eat their friends, can you?

Anonymous said...

Unspectacular. OK.

1. I like my feet out of the covers. BUT I like warm and fluffy covers and lots of them, when its cold out.
2. I don't like PJ pants. I like nightgowns. Don't like anything on my legs. I don't sleep nakie!
3. I drink hot stuff all year long and all day long. Mostly coffee, and probably a pot a day. I'm always cold, so it works for me.
4. I hate to floss. It is just weird. I do it, but not the dentist recommended daily dose or whatever, so I'll probably have my teeth fall out when I'm 75 or something instead of them lasting until I'm 100. Whatever. But I love to brush my teeth, so don't think I'm like some weird bad-breathed creep.
5. I sing in the car. Loudly. Preferably show tunes. with a CD accompaniment. Sometimes I rewind the good parts and sing them again. But only when I'm alone.
6. Dust bunnies don't bother me. I know they should, but what is the big deal anyway? Sometimes I think it's a badge of honor for your house that you've been way too busy doing more important things than to be cleaning all the time. I don't trust people that have fanatically clean houses. I think they are missing out on the finer things in life. (sometimes I even smile at them when I'm leaving to do something more important!)

OK, so that's the things I could think of while here at work. -Kit

Rachel V. Olivier said...

1. I can't sleep naked either. It's okay if other people do it, but not me. I like a long tshirt and pj pants or shorts.
2. If I put sugar or sweetener in my coffee or tea, I like to twist the packets into little bow ties. Learned that from a friend of mine.
3. I've been known to scrunch the paper wrapping on a straw really tight and then get it wet with my pop so it unravels and moves like a worm.
4. I can not see the mess in my apt for weeks at a time and then suddenly notice one thing, like how dirty all the remotes are and then nothing will stop me from cleaning it.
5. I like to measure my vitamins and pills out into one of those weekly things, once a week, instead of going three feet to the cupboard where they're all kept every day.
6. I'm doing my best to ignore any and all political conventions on tv.

Anonymous said...

This is a test to see what time the blog server's time zone is in

Vicki posted at 6:40AM on a day I was out of town, I can't believe she was up at 6:40 AM yet alone commenting on a blog

I'll post again with the answer!

Anonymous said...

That explains it
the server/blog posting time is Mountain, see mine posted at 10:04 and it's really 11:04 here in the big city by the river

So vicki posted at 7:40, perfectly reasonable

Anonymous said...

Superiority Complex....hmm...sounds familiar...

Jim said...

Look how you torture me. Putting all these visions of you and/or Tony naked in my head. Why?

Just for that, I will tell you that I sleep in my underwear. Don't worry, it's super cute, nearly new, and always clean. Usually squarecut knit boxers. Much more sporty and cute than the regular Calvin Klein type.

But if I come home super drunk, all bets (and underwear) are off!

There, now you will be forced to think of me drunk and naked. (no, it's not a pretty picture.)

Anonymous said...

Okay, if you want quirks, I have them......

Sleeping naked, makes me feel naked although I have taken to NOT wearing underwear under my PJs which I find very liberating and a good way to air out the parts.

Quirks......I would be the queen on that one. Shall I start my list?

1. When someone answers the phone like they are in some CIA agent on a covert operation and they say "I can't talk now I am on a conference call". My response would most likely be, Sorry you MORON but have you not heard of VOICE MAIL? It lets the person who is calling leave you a message. Then you can call them back when you are done finding all the spies in Afganistan.

2. Talking on a cell phone in the middle of a public place. I have enough crap happening in my life, I DON'T want to know what you had for dinner or who you slept with last night. Does having that Blue Tooth stuck in your ear make you feel important? Get over it and use a Q-Tip.

I have a whole host of others but I really need to work since I am at work.

Oprah hasn't come to my house either. I could really use a whole addition in addition to redoing my kitchen. I would love that cute gay Nate to show up at my house. I don't think that'll happen since I don't go to her show, or write to her. I hear she is kind of bitchy anyway altough if she would give me free stuff, I would take it.

I do buy lottery tickets mostly when the jackpot gets to be over $50MM. I am not sure why because $1MM could really make me happy and if I had too much more than that, I would run out of people and organizations to give it to. If I did win, I would hire someone to redo your kitchen and buy Tony some PJ's just because I could.