Isn't this a lovely winter wonderland? Right. This picture was taken today from my front door. That's Tony out there shoveling the sidewalk. (He also shoveled the next-door neighbor's sidewalk although they have never, ever done anything like that for us. And they have a damn snow-blower. But, God Forbid they should ever go a centimeter past the lot line when they snowblow.) It's two days before Easter and we just got 7 inches of frickin' snow. What the hell? I think today was the official "First Day of Spring" too. And it's Good Friday. Usually on Good Friday morning, the people of my church do a 'cross-walk'. I mean that literally. We have a huge wooden cross in the church basement and every Good Friday morning the people in my church lug it through the streets of our town like Jesus did when He was going to be crucified. Now, when I say the "people of my church" I mean everyone but me. I have never been to the cross-walk, so I don't really know how it's done. I know that only one person carries the cross, but I don't know if it's the same person the whole time or if lots of people get the chance to take a shift or what. It's probably blasphemous to say this, but I just don't think it would be particularly meaningful to me. Unless we give the person dragging the cross 40 lashes and put a crown of thorns on their head I don't really think we are "reenacting" anything. I mean, the cross used has wheels on it for crying out loud, so you just kind of drag it along behind you like a scooter. Now, I'm not suggesting that we actually flog someone to make this a more meaningful experience. I get it...it's symbolic. However, I am just saying that it has never held any particular appeal for me. I don't think I would get anything out of it spiritually. I think it's swell that some people do.
However, this year my point is neither here nor there because....the cross walk was CANCELLED because of the snow! I bet this is the first time EVER that this event was cancelled. However, this year the cross couldn't be walked because it is a SNOW DAY! I'm telling you, I bet Pontius Pilate would have cancelled the entire crucifixion if he had been faced with this weather. Everyone would have just locked themselves up in their little houses and we would all be Jewish today.
So, I would like to just have it on the record that I hate the fucking snow. I am so tired of snow and slush and salt and snowplows and mittens and scarves that I could just scream. It's almost April and my neighbor has a 6 foot snowman in his front yard. I would like to just go over there and kick it over and then stomp on it and fucking smash all the pieces of coal he and his son used to make the smiley face on it and rip the jolly striped scarf they jauntily tied around it's neck into eight thousand little pieces and then have my dogs pee on it! However, I know this would be inappropriate and not just because this particular neighbor is a pastor.
My point is, if the sun doesn't come out soon I am going to take my friend Jim's suggestion and make a big snow hand in my front yard with the middle finger sticking straight up towards the wretched sky that keeps dumping all this stupid snow on us.
Next time I promise I will write about my fabulous St Patrick's Day party, but I just had to get this off my chest.
12 comments:
SO I see the picture and in my mind I go, "Oh is that Tony way out there so small?" and then I read and see that it is. Thank god he doesn't have a tie-dyed snow parka!
Than I think, wow, that is so pretty in a photo and wouldn't that be fun to frolic in for an afternoon, then fly home to my warm weather.
Then I felt guilty for thinking such impure thoughts. Oh, and reserve the right to comment on the "cross walk" aspect of this post when I am ready.
So okay, book a ticket. I only have the one guest room. So choose who's coming with you. Hurry. I'm drunk as I write this and this offer won't last...
Wow, that guy above was a little toasty on champagne. But since he offered, there is this one guest room...
Champagne?? What was the occasion? Were you celebrating the fact that you don't live here? I would if I were you.
Oh, and if there were tie dyed snow parkas, Tony would have one. Can't wait to hear what you think about the cross walk.
Oh...and believe me, if there was any way I could swing it, I would be SOOOO taking you up on your offer of a guest room. I'd be coming alone though, as I am going through a Marlena Dietrich stage right now...
Ya, this snow sucks. The kids and I started making up an "I Hate Snow" song that went a lil like this: "I hate snow. I wish it would go because it blows to have this much snow." I suggested turning it into a rap song, but the girls topped me by suggesting we sing it to the tune of "I Hate Men" from "Kiss Me Kate."
Oh my god. What weekend and it's just Saturday...
Last night was a friend's 14th anniversary so they rented a grand hotel room and were so impressed by it - had to invite other people over to drink in it.
Tonight was a friend's birthday and, uh, there was a lot more champagne drinking...
I LOVE THIS WEEKEND.
I so feel your pain! I laughed my booty off reading this entry. I too hate the snow and if I see one more flake of it, I may commit a potential illegal act such as killing mother nature.
The Cross Walk. Perhaps it would be easier to wheel a gurney around the town with a prisoner strapped to it waiting for his lethal injection. Or maybe you could put an electric chair in the back of a pick up truck? Jesus was crucified on a cross because that's how they tortured and executed prisoners back then.
I think it's a big ego for any mortal to strap on a cross with wheels, drag it for three blocks and then claim they have an idea of the suffering Jesus went through as they head for Starbucks to grab a latte.
Here's another part I don't get, Easter is about the resurrection. Shouldn't they be parading through town with a an empty tomb?
There, I've said my piece.
Why did I have flashbacks of Martin Sheen with a cross on his back while reading your tale of the 'cross-walk'?
I'm with you on the snow. We got more on Saturday and then Sunday was nice and chilly for the Easter festivities, forcing me to put the oldest girl-child in tights.
I hate tights.
At least it melted quick.
Not like the snow we had last week. YOu would've loved the mudman that hubby and the kids worked on. He started out as a snowman, but ended up as a 5 1/2 foot snow/grass/mud/possiblydogpoo-tooman.
You know me. Poo is always involved.
Sad, isn't it.
What Jim said. We talked about your crosswalk at dinner the other night. He's risen, right? Well, that's how always felt, anyway.
But I was thinking about you last night. It was really late and guess what commercial came on tv? That's right! An ad to sell Morrissey CDs! Ach! Felt so old. Morrissey shouldn't be something that's sold on bad tv in the middle of the night!
Damn that's a lot of snow for the end of March. You must live somewhere it's real cold. Have hope spring is upon us!
Totally feel ya on the snow end of it. We got slammed one week ago with 7 inches of snow as well. Every one just keeps saying 'Its Minnesota, what do you expect.' I expect spring, and nice weather, and shipping my kids outside!!!
Here's to hoping your snow is on the way out, just the same as mine!
I think Jim has issues with tie-dye. Well, better that than.. I don't know. I really think tie-dye is a totally innocent offender.
The cross walk sounds pompous. Sorry if i offend but it does sound pompous and arrogant to me. I doubt anyone rolling that cross through town will ever really know what it feels like to be beaten, have a prickly thing digging into their skull, and know that this big heavy cross they are dragging through suburbia is about to have them nailed to it to starve to death in the blazing sun. Seems like the emotional impact is not all there but you get to pretend you truly know what it would feel like. Maybe they could try waterboarding next time. I hear that is legal and not necessarily fatal.
oh. i rant. bye!
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