Rowan and Grier

Well, I'm back from my spring break trip. For the second year in a row my dear friend and I took our children to a water park, leaving our husbands behind to have Chex Mix and bourbon for dinner. We rented a condo in a fabulous water park resort in the Wisconsin Dells which is an entire town in Wisconsin dedicated to indoor and outdoor water parks. I am so totally not kidding about that. The town is the Water park Capital of the World. That title alone should tell you how cheesy the town is and what kind of people it attracts. I'm telling you, all the people in the Midwest who frequent carnivals in the summer spend their spring breaks in the Wisconsin Dells. Although my friend did point out that the place we were staying seemed to have a "higher class clientele" which I think she based on the number of tattoos per body. (First of all, let me just point out that I have a tattoo for those of you that think I am denigrating all the fine people out there with body ink. However, I have ONE tattoo and it is small and cute and I got it when I was sober. I am talking about women with tattoos of Disney characters up and down their calves. Secondly, saying that this water park resort had a higher class of people in it is sort of a backward compliment. It is like saying, "Well, she doesn't sweat much for a fat girl.")

Anyway, our condo had two bedrooms and we decided that we would put the kids in one room and we would sleep in the other. That way the kids could watch Spongebob Squarepants all night and we could do our Bible Study. (I am not kidding you about this. We are both in Bible Studies--different ones---and we brought our Bibles and everything. As it turns out, we read Shape magazine and took naps instead.) Anyway, our room had only one bed so we slept together. I have come to the conclusion that it is much easier to sleep with a woman than it is with my husband. First of all, the first night we were there I woke up at 1:00 a.m. feeling sick. Get this! My friend actually woke up and came out into the living room to see if I was okay. My husband wouldn't have even noticed I was gone. Even when I went into labor in the middle of the night I had a hard time waking him up. I think when I told him my water broke he groggily asked me, "Are you sure?" Okay...the other thing that was so great about sleeping in the same bed with my friend was the pre-sleep conversation. My husband always picks the time right before bed to talk about schedules and bills and stuff like that. Do you know what my friend and I talked about? Celebrity babies. Who has the cuter baby...Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner or Courtney Cox and that freak she married? This conversation went on for about 15 minutes, no kidding. We knew who had kids with whom and what the kid's names are and everything. It was brilliant! My husband never wants to talk about celebrity babies! I am still amazed that we knew enough about celebrity offspring to sustain this conversation for 15 minutes. Plus, we were both very serious about it. Tony would have been like, "What the hell do I care about Brooke Shields kids for? You know their names too? Why?"

In any case, let me tell you that we had enough fun in the Dells to fill at least 5 more blog entries. Next time I will tell you all about the Ripley's Believe It or Not museum which made Bronte say the word "creepy" about five thousand times, Brenna back away from things shaking her head and hands spasmodically like she'd just touched something really disgusting and my friend to say "Believe it or Not....eeeeww!" a few times a day for the remainder of the trip. My friend's son, on the other hand, found the whole museum completely fascinating and wanted a stuffed two-headed cow from the gift shop to commemorate the whole thing. He's a 3rd grader. His 8th grade sister, on the other hand, was just on the look-out for cute boys. I'm telling you, I never had more fun at a museum than I did with this bunch.