It's southern, y'all

Britney Spears' crotch is all over the Internet. Normally, I don't go out of my way to find celebrity crotches on the Internet, but I did Google "Britney Spears Crotch" just to see these photos. I did this mainly because my husband was so disgusted that the CNN website covered the Spears crotch. He just couldn't believe that CNN considered this newsworthy.

I just wanted to see it because here is young Ms. Spears in the midst of a divorce and will be, presumedly, fighting for custody of her sons and she is going out on the town with Paris Hilton, getting smashed, and flashing her crotch to reporters. That is just funny. I can't wait to see her chewing her gum in the middle of her Today Show interview with Matt Lauer and chalking it up to "being Southern". (Doesn't that just add a whole new level of comedy to reruns of "Designing Women"? I mean-here are all those genteel Southern interior designer women sitting in their lovely Victorian home in their lovely dresses and inside we all know they have shaved boxes and are going 'commando'?)

Anyway, because Tony (my husband) didn't think this was at all newsworthy, I thought it would be fun to bring it up to some of my friends and see if they had even heard of Britney's "pussy-gate". So, last night I was at a Girl Scout meeting and there were two other moms there and I brought up Britney's indiscretion. The first mom said that her husband had immediately gone on the Internet to see if he could find uncensored photos of this even. (Apparently a lot of websites are featuring these photos with black boxes over the box...so to speak. I had no trouble at all finding the real deal, but maybe I just googled the right combo of words...) She was disgusted with her husband for wanting to see this. She said, "For God's sake! She just had two kids! How exciting is her crotch?" The other mom said, "My question is; what happened to her underwear?"

Okay-let's pause here.

The other mom wondered where her underwear went. I admit, that never even occurred to me. Strangely enough I never thought that slutty Britney had begun her evening with her underwear on. But this woman figured that something horrible must have happened during the course of Britney's evening and she lost her underwear. I'm sure that happens all the time. Some people lose their keys, their purse, their cell phones--but sometimes you might just lose your underwear. The horror! This mom should be Britney's PR person. I would be a lot more sympathetic towards Ms. Spears if she told Matt Lauer that she lost her underwear instead of blaming this incident on her Southern roots.

In the meantime I wonder what Britney's sons are going to think when they get older. I mean, who are they going to date someday? What mother will think this behavior from the mother of the boy their daughter is about to date is OK? Will they date Madonna's daughter? Unfortunately Madonna only has one daughter and there are two Spears sons.